By Jade DeBoer (she/her), Foster Care Engagement Specialist at Fostering Connections

As a Foster Care Engagement Specialist at Fostering Connections, I speak to people every day who are curious about foster care but unsure whether it could be right for them. 

Many have questions or concerns before they consider taking any next step, and that’s exactly how it should be.

Foster care is an important role, and it’s one people deserve to understand clearly before deciding whether it fits their life. Below are some of the most common questions people ask me, along with my honest answers.

“Is foster care the same as adoption?”

No — and this is one of the most important things to understand early on.

Foster care is about providing children and young people with safe, temporary care while their family situation is being worked through. 

The goal is always to support children to remain connected to their family, culture, and community wherever possible, and to return home when it’s safe to do so.

Adoption is a separate process with a different purpose and pathway. When you enquire about foster care, we take time to talk through these differences, so expectations are clear from the start.

“Do I need to be a certain type of person or family to foster?”

There is no single “ideal” foster carer and foster care doesn’t require a traditional family structure.

People from diverse backgrounds, household types, work situations, cultures, and life experiences can all become foster carers. 

What matters most is the desire to provide a safe and nurturing environment for children and young people in need, along with the time, support, and willingness to learn, rather than fitting a specific mould.

A big part of my role is helping you understand how foster care might fit in with your specific life. 

“Do I need previous experience with children?”

No — and this surprises a lot of people.

You don’t need to have worked with children or raised your own to become a foster carer. Many people come into foster care without prior experience, and that’s completely okay.

Foster carers receive comprehensive training, guidance, and ongoing support. You’re never expected to know everything from the start. You’re part of a wider professional team that works together to support children and young people every step of the way.

What really matters is your willingness to learn, ask questions, and grow throughout the journey. Fostering isn’t something you’re expected to be fully prepared for on day one. It’s something you grow into with the right support around you.

Above all, the most important thing is having the desire to provide a safe, stable, and nurturing home for a child who truly needs it.

“What can be hard about foster care?”

This is an important question, and it deserves a clear and honest answer.

One of the things people often find challenging about foster care is uncertainty. Plans can change, placements may be uncertain or short notice, and decisions are often guided by what’s safest or most appropriate for a child, rather than what feels clear or settled.

This can be emotionally demanding, especially for people who value routine or certainty.

Another challenge can be supporting children or young people who are navigating change, loss or disruption in their lives. Even when children don’t talk directly about their experiences, those experiences can affect behaviour, emotions, and relationships. 

Being able to respond with patience, consistency, and care takes training, practice and support.

Foster care also involves you working as part of a broader system. Carers collaborate with care teams, schools, and family networks. Understanding shared roles and responsibilities can feel complex, particularly in the early stages.

These realities matter. We talk openly about the harder parts of foster care because understanding them helps you make thoughtful, informed decisions, and ensures you feel prepared and supported.

“Who supports carers through the hard parts?”

While foster care can be complex, carers are not expected to manage challenges on their own.

What makes a real difference is support, preparation, and connection.

Training and ongoing learning help carers understand children’s needs, build confidence, and develop practical strategies over time. No one starts out knowing everything. Your skills will grow with experience and guidance.

Strong support networks are also essential. Foster carers work closely with caseworkers and care teams who provide advice, advocacy, and practical help. 

Many carers also find tremendous value in connecting with other foster carers who understand the journey and can share insights, encouragement, and reassurance.

Consistency and self‑care play an important role too. Creating routines, taking time to recharge, and recognising your own limits helps carers remain present, patient, and emotionally available for the children in your care.

Above all, you don’t have to be perfect. Carers just need to be committed, open to learning, and willing to ask for support when they need it. 

With the right guidance and a strong support system, challenges become manageable, and you can focus on what matters most: providing stability, care, and understanding to a child or young person during a critical time in their life.

“Is making an enquiry a commitment?”

No — an enquiry is just the start of a conversation. Nothing more.

When you contact Fostering Connections, you’re not locking yourself into anything. You’re simply opening a door to learn more. 

You can ask questions, take time, pause the process, or decide it’s not the right fit for you. All those outcomes are okay.

My role isn’t to persuade people. It’s to help you understand what foster care is, what it isn’t, and whether it might work for you at this point in your life.

“What does foster care really involve?”

At its core, foster care is about providing safety, stability, and care for children and young people during a time of need. It sits within a broader system that prioritises family connection, cultural identity, and a child’s overall wellbeing.

Foster care isn’t about being a hero, having all the answers, or making quick decisions. It’s about being open to learning, receiving guidance, and working alongside professionals to meet a child’s needs in ways that are thoughtful, respectful, and child‑focused.

For many people, exploring foster care takes time. Some choose to take the next step, while others decide it’s not right for them, or not right now. Both are valid and respected outcomes.

If you’re curious and want to understand more about foster care, you are always very welcome to reach out to Jade for a conversation on 1800 013 088, email or DM via our Facebook or Instagram. 

No pressure. No expectations. Just an honest, supportive chat to help you decide what feels right for you. 

Fostering Connections is Victoria’s statewide foster carer recruitment service, helping people explore whether foster care could fit into their lives and connecting them with foster care agencies across the state.